literature

Weak! (Human!Arceus x Reader)

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"Help me up, you big lug!" You yelled, seething in frustration, murmuring profanities under your breath. You lay on the asphalt road, left knee scraped, and usually soft palms glowing angry red. Pedestrians knew better than to get near you or the man with you, and made the wise choice of staying at least a mile radius away from the duo.

Arceus laughed haughtily; how amusing this was! He never thought the day this, human, would be defeated, and defeated she was, by a tiny pebble.

"Hah! Who would help you? I-DI-OT!" Arceus stood in front of you, arms crossed in front of his chest in victory. The white-haired man leaned over the raging mass of flesh and blood that was you with a smug smile plastered on his handsome face.

"My, (Y/N), you were saying something about being invincible a moment ago. What now?" The once legendary Pokemon grinned, poking your bright red nose, making you feel like summoning the demons from the underworld and just plain old flustered and embarrassed. 

Eyeing his face, you decided you wanted to go along and raise up the demons. "Y-you.." You shook your petite finger in front of him, thinking of a threat or insult. Arceus raised his eyebrow and leaned even closer.

"Hmm?" Arceus grinned, listening.

"You stupid, asshole, shitball, overpriced food item, damned idiot!" You yelled, pulling out that packet of salt you got at a cafe from last week. You forgot to remove it from your coat pocket, but then you never remove things from your pocket. Who knows when they might come in handy? Plus, it was free!

You ripped open the bag in record time and licked your two fingers. An evil expression took over your features, darkening your eyes. You grinned as Arceus had no time to react to you sticking your fingers in the packet and into his emerald eyes. Quickly, you poured the rest of the salt onto his hands, which wasn't too far on his chest.

 "Ah," Arceus breathed in, seeming calm. You raised your (H/C) eyebrow; you expected more of a reaction from the big guy. A few seconds of silence passed except for the intense breathing of some, god, next to you.

"a-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU, YOU DEMON!" The god screeched, and out of reflex rubbed his eyes in pain.

You cringed. Ouchie. "You shouldn't have done that, Arsey~!" You told him, dragging the 'y' of his nickname he got from you. A few more seconds passed, heavy and labored breathing was the only thing heard. 

"(Y) [first syllable] .." Said heavy breather had his eyes closed tightly, tears on the corners.

"(Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN)!" Arceus raged, I mean raged as his voice alone broke nearby 50 year old trees.

There it is, you sighed, half expecting it. You tried hoisting yourself off the ground to get away from the commotion, but it hurt your palms immensely. "Well damn," You cursed, (H/C) locks covering the sides of your face messily as you muttered profanities under your breath.

Oh no.

"(Y/N)! YOU ARE GOING NOWHERE, YOU HEAR?!" The seething male picked you up by a shoulder with his one hand, unknowingly tightening his grip.

Heights..

You winced in fear and pain; well, that's going to leave a bruise. This god has to step up his anger tolerance game, damn.

"Okay! Okay! Sheesh, put me down!" You struggled, trying to break loose while glaring into his eyes. You didn't dare look down because god damn this guy was tall. 

Arceus huffed. "You want me to put you down? Hah, as if!" He laughed as he raised you well over his head, his six foot four body. 

Well damn.

Don't show weakness don't show weakness don't show weakn-

A tear slipped your eye. 

"Um," Arceus stared uneasily at your face. Was that a tear? It went by so fast, he couldn't tell. If it was a tear, it would be already absorbed into the asphalt ground.

She never cries, the human-turned Pokemon god told himself and puffed out his chest.

Pshh, that tear was probably a drop of rain, since it's rather cloudy. (Y/N) doesn't cry..

"Oh no," You muttered, the fear of heights and pain in your shoulder taking over the pain from your scraped knee and palms. That was a tear, and- HE SAW IT!

"Wh," You looked at him in disbelief, thinking that he indeed saw the sign of weakness and is laughing at you silently.

I have nothing to lose now, he saw that disgrace of a tear. You shivered.

"WAAAAAAAHH!" You wailed, sobbing. Your right arm (which shoulder wasn't being gripped) immediately began to wipe away the tears.

Arceus panicked.

What do I do what do I do what do I do WHAT DO I DO-

He embraced you, tucking his head into your neck. "I'm sorry!" Arceus said in a rushed manner, trying to get you to stop crying. 

"I'll get you candy! I'll get you a stuffed animals! I'll get you a pet duck and take care of it and clean its poop, like you wanted!" Arceus began hopelessly making promises while rubbing circles on your back. Arceus may be a god, but its not like he payed much attention to human feelings. How do you comfort a crying human? He sank to the asphalt ground, setting you on his lap and facing him. The white-haired man's face was still buried in your neck, breathing in your faint sweet scent that he didn't notice until now.

Smells like chocolate..


..


I.. like chocolate.


"Arceus," you finally said, calmed down a bit.

"H-hmm?"

"Clean my wounds please, they might get infected."

"P-psh! Woman, do it yourself!"

"If you can get me a pet duck, you can clean my cuts~! Plus, that grip was strong and hurt, it bruised my perfect skin!"

"Fine! D-don't make me feel guilty, you salt demon! This is all your fault!"




The pedestrians wondered if it was safe to go back onto the supposedly relaxing walkway/path into the forest.
i havent written anything in a while orz ;; heres a not so godly god smh

to those who read 'old men' THIS IS NOT A SEQUEL goddahm its a oneshot with a tad of swearing fORGIVE ME

ehehe, its a reader insert agaiiiinnn!! and iT SUCKS IM SORRY IT WAS 30 MINS OF MY TIME i wanted to post something ;v;
the plot dIED LIKE HALFWAY NOT EVEN KIDDING i dont know what im doing sheeshh mamas Emoji 27 

Emoji26 sorry for those who expected like a shipping fic but i felt like writing a reader insert yknow
originally this was going to end in reader-chan dying but I GOOD SOUL!! I NO KILL YOU Emoji32 






i like chocolate :iconheplz:
© 2015 - 2024 hiimcookie
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Magenta-Lily-Rose's avatar

When the god of all Pokémon can be more salty than McDonald's fries. (they can be very salty at times)